If the 54 commercials vying for the top spot in USA TODAY’s Ad Meter contest taught us anything, it’s that the 100 million viewers tuned into Super Bowl 60 wanted something real.
Real humans. Actual intelligence. Real food – though preferably not packaged through the lens of the current Office of Health and Human Services.
And preferably, no artificial intelligence, cryptocurrency or casinos. Americans, it seems, don’t need to be told how to lose their money.
In the end, Budweiser prevailed for the 10th time in Ad Meter history and for the second consecutive year. A bit chalk, you might say?
Here are five takeaways from this year’s slate of Super Bowl ads:
Can’t spell pain without AI
The hundreds of billions of dollars pumped into LLMs don’t seem to have convinced the public that these mechanisms are necessary for their lives. If nothing else, the Super Bowl ads seemed to put in bright lights that anything AI can offer – help with spreadsheets, a tip on how to tie your shoes, whatever – isn’t already available through other means.
Like an Excel spreadsheet, say, or a cursory Google search.
The Ad Meter ratings seemed to reflect that, with AI spots occupying the 45th through 48th spots out of the 54 that viewers rated, a Murderers’ Row of slop. Meta’s two ‘Athletic Intelligence Is Here’ spots, despite their star power, rated an almost identical 2.45 and 2.49 on a scale of 5, with OpenAI and Anthropic sandwiched between them.
We’re here for Anthropic throwing shade at OpenAI – mocking their ‘How do I do a pull-up to get chicks?’ was hilarious – yet it was also a fairly inside-baseball reference for a vast majority of viewers.
And a proven Ad Meter winner – Amazon Alexa finished first, second and third in 2018, ’19 and ’21, respectively – seemed to underperform, finishing 11th this year.
That despite Chris Hemsworth’s hunky presence and a fairly entertaining conceit that no, his Alexa was not going to kill him. Perhaps that hit a little too close to home for folks.
$8 million can’t buy you love
In this heavily distracted viewing era, one thing is becoming abundantly clear: Thirty seconds is not enough time to tell a story.
The top eight Ad Meter finishers this year all came on 60-second spots – and when the buy-in for a mere 30 seconds is $8 to $10 million, the cost of success is becoming even more prohibitive.
It took the bland everyman of our times, Peyton Manning, ostensibly benign comedian Shane Gillis and the historic power of Bud Light for a 30-second ad to stop the run of minute-long epics and finish in ninth place. Their keg roll story was able to slide deftly into a half-minute.
Meanwhile, a few other spots that might have hit clearly could not cram enough into their 30 seconds. Instacart’s ‘Bananas’ had potential, but cramming a plotline (Backflippin’ Benson Boone one-ups Bumbling Ben Stiller) and the point of the product (you can order your bananas green or black, if you like) into such a tight window felt harried. It finished tied for 30th at 2.74 with Ritz, which tried to leverage Jon Hamm, Scarlett Johansson and Bowen Yang into a 30-second window.
Then again, 60 seconds is no guarantee…
Everybody still hates Coinbase
Four years ago, the cryptocurrency outfit enraged viewers with a minutelong spot that was simply a QR code bouncing around the corners of the screen, leading the consumer to proceed to the web site – which promptly crashed minutes later.
This might be what those in the know call ‘a bad user experience.’ Coinbase finished last in 2022 Ad Meter.
Anyhow, Coinbase returned to capture another minute of your time, this time with a karaoke singalong, replete with retro graphics and the Backstreet Boys – and Backstreet is indeed back, gracing two spots. Social media seemed to appreciate the concept – and then felt burned when the ad was for crypto, and Coinbase.
Yes, consumers have a long memory. And Coinbase finished last, again.
Yet Coinbase tends to laugh last. The 2022 QR code apparent debacle still resulted in its app zooming from No. 186 on the app store to No. 2. It remains the largest U.S.-based cryptocurrency exchange.
That doesn’t mean anyone has to like it.
Health can be hazardous
An A-list superstar athlete like Serena Williams is generally a safe bet on Super Bowl Sunday. And the 30 seconds spent shilling for Ro was a fairly straightforward pitch.
Yet perhaps the viewer does not want to hear a sermon on GLP-1 weight-loss pills. The spot finished third-to-last, topping only Coinbase and Svedka.
A spot for Hims & Hers grabbed immediate attention by stating an uncomfortable truth: Rich people live longer. Yet 60 seconds was hardly enough time to solve the ills of health care inequities, nor present its product as any sort of cure-all for the system. It finished in the bottom third.
Meanwhile, a Novartis spot that leaned on current and retired NFL tight ends and a testimonial from Super Bowl-winning coach Bruce Arians to tout prostate cancer screening finished seventh overall, scoring a 3.39. Not too preachy, not touting a panacea.
Is de-aging necessary?
Everyone knows Ted Danson doesn’t resemble Sam Malone anymore. No one expects Laura Dern to be 23 years old, anymore.
Nonetheless, spots for Dunkin’ and Comcast utilized de-aging to make ‘80s and ‘90s stars like Danson, Jason Alexander, Ben Affleck, Dern, Sam Neill and Jeff Goldblum look like their previous selves.
Trouble is, the consumer might not be buying it.
Thing is, the ads probably could have worked without it; the current Danson could have pulled off a more stately Dunkin’ shop manager, certainly. And the Jurassic trio still look age-defying now.
We’re sensing a theme: People don’t want to be creeped out!
